The Artful Execution of a Side-Hug
So…I was going to try and write a lovely, deep, heartfelt blog for you today about sin or sanctification or something as heavy as a brick wrapped in John Piper theology. But I’m in far too whimsical of a mood to do that. So here it goes!
One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is side hugs. No, scratch that. Making fun of side hugs. Before you Full-Frontal Prohibitionists jump on this and start cranking out signs with slogans like “Torsos that make contact with other torsos shall never touch mine!” (Get it? It’s a clever reference to this), let me qualify that statement. I feel that I am allowed to say that because I frequently give side-hugs. I love side hugs. You might even say that they’re Biblical. We’re very familar.
I’ve only recently become acquainted with side hugs, since I started college. For whatever reason, in high school, hugging wasn’t a popular way to greet friends. Now that I’ve been here a few months, I feel that I’ve become great at preforming the side hug. Here are my few tips:
The Expected Side-Hug
Of course, the easiest way to do a side-hug is to simply indicate that is what you are going for initially. If at all possible, initiate the inevitable hug yourself. Position your torso as parallel as possible to the hug-ee. Only raise one arm. This will indicate to the hug-ee that you are requesting a side hug, and, with any luck, they will respond appropriately.
The Ninja Side Hug
This is a Full-Frontal hug turned into it’s weaker, but far less awkward, cousin. Typically, this hug is not initiated by you. The hug is initiated by the hugger, usually in the form of raising both arms and moving of the torso horizontally towards yours. The key to this one is recognizing these two simple signs early. Once recognized, you must act fast. Quickly move your torso, so that it becomes parallel to the hugger. Lift the arm closest to the hugger, and begin putting it around their neck/shoulders. They will usually get the point, and will only side-hug you back. Problem solved.
The “Escape” Side Hug
This side-hug is a last ditch effort, only to be used when a full-frontal hug was engaged too quickly to be ninja-ed into a side hug. Typically, you have already been engaged into a full-frontal hug. The key to this is fixing that mistake as soon as possible. As soon as you notice the unwanted full frontal hugs, act quickly. Lift one arm. Move your torso to the correct, parallel position. As you do so, one of the hugger’s arms should become disloged, firmly cementing what was a full-frontal hug into a side hug. To make things a little less awkward, you can pretend like you needed to say something, or that you need to reach for something – but either way, this maneuver is going to be awkward, so it really doesn’t make that much of a difference.
I hope these tips help you as much as they’ve helped me. I love the side hug!
The ADHD Christian
So, in case you haven’t already figured this one out on your own, I have ADHD – attention deficit hyperactivity disorder Full blown, “I get distracted by shiny things and – squirrel! – can’t sit still for more than 10 minutes” disorder.
I’ve often wondered how my ADHD fits into my life as a Christian. So many of the characteristics of my ADHD simply aren’t conducive to the stereotypical model of what a Christian woman should look like. I’m not quiet, I’m actually pretty loud. I can’t sit still through prayer – even if it’s 30 seconds, if I’m not the one speaking, my mind wanders. I’d much rather get up and move around than sit and listen to someone talk. I’m easily distracted, easily excitable, and am far more prone to fluctuations of emotion of epic proportions than a quiet spirit.
One of the things that I’ve struggled with particularly (and continue to struggle) is patience. If you ask a specialist, a lack of patience is actually a key indicator of ADHD. It’s simply not something I easily possess. When I want something, I want it right then. Waiting frustrates me beyond belief. Now, as much as I want to, I simply can’t write this off as a symptom of my disorder. And trust me, I want to.
Overhead, on the shelf of my desk, I have the Fruits of the Holy Spirit taped up to remind myself what I’m striving for. They’re placed in order of how they occur in the Bible. I find it particularly ironic that when I look up from my desk chair, the first once I see, directly overhead, is patience. Everytime, I’m reminded of what I don’t yet have. 
I want to be patient. But I want to be patient now. A lack of patience makes the Christian life very, very hard. I’m wrestling with this and more often than not, I feel that I’m losing.
I wish I had a nice little neat ending like “and then I learned to emulate the patience character of God and now I’m patient, and life is candy and butterflies.” But that’s not reality. The Christian life is far more often scraped knees and bruised skin. When I speak of my walk with Jesus, I should probably just say my “Stumble, trip, fall, scrape my knee, cry, get up, whine, and learn to keep going” with Jesus. Cause that’s more often what it is.
That’s what I’m learning. What are you learning?
I want to run,
but I haven’t learned to walk yet.
I want to sing,
but I haven’t learned to talk yet.
Just another scrap from my journal…
I was just looking back through my journal and I liked this little reflection, so here it is. Enjoy.
Forget self-esteem. Have God-esteem. Forget self-confidence. Have God-confidence. Forget self-awareness. Have God-awareness. Once you replace “self” as the center of all things with “God”, you truly see;
You esteem yourself only in the light of being a son/daughter of God. You have confidence in self only in light of the Holy Spirit working within you. You have awareness of self only in the light of what God made you to do – love, worship, and glorify Him. God is truly the axis around which all of human life properly revolves.
Ex Nihilo
From nothing I came
and to nothing I’ll go.
And in between those ends
I’ll love and serve the Lord
who made it so.
I am nothing,
formed from dust,
my life so easily
trampled and crushed.
I am nothing,
tiny and small
and if I were to disappear
I don’t think the world
would notice much at all.
I am nothing,
I am not swift or strong,
I will fade from this earth
before too long.
Oh, but I am everything.
For to keep me from being lost,
my God
hung Himself
upon a cross.
Clinging to Everything But God
I am a planner. Plain and simple. I am your run-of-the-mill control freak. I have a calendar and a detailed day planner with a space for every hour of the day from 8am – 8pm. I have a specific pad of paper for my daily “To-Do” lists. Post-it notes are my best friend. When I pack for a trip, it looks like I’m preparing for a trek through Timbuktu – I am prepared for any possible event. I am obsessed with planning.
I could try to be positive about this, and chalk up my love of planning to an organized mind, a motivated lifestyle. And certainly, there is some measure of truth to this – most people truly don’t “plan to fail”, they fail to plan. However, over time, I have come to recognize why I truly love plans – they give me control.
In the seemingly mindless chaos that is “life”, making plans helps me to feel in control of my life. Even when everything else is falling down around me, I can cling to my day planner, I can rely on my “To-Do List”, I can trust my calendar.
But that is, without a doubt, “seriously messed up”. Did my day planner form me before I was even conceived? Did my “To-Do List” hold me in the palm of his hand? Did my calendar sacrifice himself on a cross to atone for my sins? No.
God did. And I am coming to see more and more how God is working every event in my life to make me cling ever more to Him. There are many examples of this, but I would like to share the most recent with you – my trip to Campus Crusades’ Indy Christmas Conference.
The idea of going to Christmas Conference (from here on out referred to as Indy CC) was introduced very early, sometime around the beginning of November. I immediately knew I wanted to go. I looked up the website immediately, determined the price, what I would do, where I would stay, etc, and called my mom – ready to plan! Unfortunately, the idea was immediately shut down – it conflicted with the dates of my family’s Christmas party. I was disappointed, but accepted the fact that I was not going.
Even so, whenever I heard or talked about it, I would send up a silent prayer to God; “You know, Lord, it would be really great to go to this…if I could…maybe…”
Things didn’t seem to change at all, until a week before the conference. One of my friends from home randomly texted me, telling me that she had, on a whim, decided to attend the last 2 days of the conference, and wanted to know if I would like to join. I knew that my family Christmas party would be done by then, and I told her I would ask and get back to her. By coincidence, I had asked off work from those two days two weeks before, long before I knew about the possibility of going. So that was clear. I asked my mom. She said yes, but only if I could pay for it myself.
Darn. Foiled again – until Christmas! I was given just enough money to be able to afford to go. Now the problem was where to stay. This problem did not resolve itself quickly. It came up until the night before I was supposed to leave for Indy, at about 9 pm, when I found out that, even though rooms were supposed to be booked 4 women to a room, that somehow, a room had been booked with only 3 girls – one of whom I had recently become friends with.
Now I had a place to stay, money, and a ride there and back. At the very last second. Even up until I got there, I was winging things – check in, parking, finding my friends. Everything. It was unplanned – extremely uncharacteristic of me.
And I have to admit – it made me beyond nervous. At times, I wanted to throw up from the anxiety.
But it was worth it. God was proving to me that if I trust Him, he truly will provide. And trusting in his provision is far more thrilling and satisfying than trusting in my own. Even if it is scary, I’m going to try to cling to him, and not to my plans.
“Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” – James 4: 13-15 (ESV)
Got Nothin’
Merry Christmas everyone!
So, with the knowledge that Christmas was coming up, I spent a lot of time thinking about the blog that would post today. I tossed around a ton of ideas – a short story, a poem, a reflection, pictures. I wanted something profound, something deep, something meaningful.
But I got nothin’.
And honestly, I think that’s appropriate. After all, isn’t that what Christmas is all about?
We, as human, have a desperate need to know and love God. And we try SO hard. We want something profound, something deep, something meaningful.
But we got nothin’.
All we can do is sin, and sin, and then sin again. We are totally helpless.
And so, God, in his unfathomable infinite mercy, chose to be born in the form of a helpless baby. Sending the helpless to rescue the helpless. How appropriate.
Oh, Jesus, that you were born to die so that I might live!
These are the words I could barely choke out as I wept beside the manger.
Oh Jesus, born to rescue the people that turned their backs on Him.
We got nothin, so he sent everything.
That’s why, today, there’s no blog. Just Jesus.
Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays: It’s WAR!
Ok. So I know I promised my next post would b about how knowing Jesus has caused me to experience pain. I don’t want to say I lied but..I was mistaken. There is a much more important topic I want to address:
Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays.
If I didn’t know any better, you’d think this was an all out war, in which the loser’s culture will be completely and totally destroyed and lost forever. (As if Christ can ever be lost). And you know what? It annoys me to no end!
When did this start to become a war? And who started it? While I proudly proclaim to be part of the problem – we did. Christians did. Why? Perhaps about of a righteous sense of defensiveness about the increasingly secular nature of our culture. Perhaps pride got the best of us. Who knows. In any cause, it seems to me that it only fuels an “Us vs. Them” mentality, and drives a wedge in the ever-widening gap between Christians and non-Christians.
Don’t misunderstand – I am a person who will always say “Merry Christmas”. But if someone says “Happy Holidays” (or, heck, even “Feliz Navidad”) I’m not going to get my undies in a bunch. And I think it would serve the Christian community well if we all settled down just a little bit and quit throwing up more walls.
Perhaps, next year, instead of once again launching the “MERRY CHRISTMAS CRUSADES”, we should devote our time and energy to more worthy causes. Maybe, we should show people what it means to live out “Merry Christmas”:
Let’s pack up some shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. Offer to babysit for the single mom so she can get some Christmas shopping done. Bring some Christmas cookies and a listening ear to the lonely widow down the street. Invite the neighbors over for some carols and hot cocoa. Feed the hungry. Shelter the homeless. Rescue the oppressed and comfort the afflicted.
Perhaps when people start to enjoy the real benefits of Christmas – the spirit and hope of Jesus Christ – they will be more inclined to say it.
Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Happy Winter Solstice or whatever you celebrate. All I hope is that this season, the love of Christ will reach out and touch your heart like it’s touched mine.
Lonliness
Almost half-way through this never-ending break! Woohoo! The one good thing that I can say about this break is how much free-time it was given me. Some of this free time I have squandered, spending far too much time on Facebook and other stupid sites. Much of it I have spent with the Lord. The rest, I have spent doing random things like cleaning the kitchen, making dinner, and rooting through my room. While I was going through my room, I found my collection of old notebooks. I have been writing for a very long time, since about 3rd grade. I have kept each journal I have ever written in. I started reading through them, and was startled by what I found.
If I were to tell you my testimony, at least just from memory, I would have said that the feelings of isolation and loneliness began somewhere in middle school. But reading through my 4th grade diary, I came across this sobering sentence – “I am so different from everybody else. I know that I have friends and that my family loves me, but I still feel like I don’t fit in. Sometimes I feel like I will be alone forever.”
4th grade. In 4th grade I identified the hole in my heart, even if I didn’t know what it was or why it was there. Then, in my journal from when I was 16 (about 5 months before I accepted Christ), was this entry: “Even here, in this place, surrounded by people who are so much like me (I was at art camp at the time) sometimes I still feel so alone. Like there is this deep part of myself that no one will ever see or understand. Perhaps no one is meant to understand it. Perhaps in everyone, there is this tiny piece of our souls that will forever be alone. And no one talks about it. And when people say they’re afraid to die alone, maybe what they’re really saying is that they’re afraid of living alone, this little piece inside of them that is dying for recognition. I am so alone. Always alone.”
And when I think back on it, these past two years in my life are the first years that I can remember where I haven’t felt alone, since I was old enough to realize such a feeling. The relief from this tormenting, inner loneliness didn’t come from anything that I chased in this world. I tried everything – food, exercise, music, art, friends, boyfriends. Nothing touched that little island of loneliness within my heart. Only one things has ever truly filled that loneliness, and that is Jesus Christ.
Why? Because we are made to know him and love him. We are designed to long for him and his friendship. Without a friendship with him, there will always be a part of us that longs for him. And if you say to yourself “I’m not friends with Jesus, and I feel just fine.” Well, at one time, I would have said that too. But my lack of feeling was not lack of pain. It was leprosy. I had spent so long diseased that I had become numb to it. Beware, because at some point or another, that pain will break though.
I was a leper, shamed by the world and numb to my own disease. I cannot express gratitude enough that Jesus reached out, and with one touch healed my heart. That being said, with a healed heart came a flood of pain that I had previously been numb too. But that will be discussed in the next update. Until then -
I wish this post were better written, more well thought out. But this is all I can get my jumbled mind to manage. I spent far too many years of my life lonely and lost. Only 2 years of true life under my belt, but hopefully many more. If this post made any sense at all, I would appreciate some comments to let me know that I’m not completely crazy 
What story are you living?
I never considered that this website would be a place for book reviews (honestly, I feel that I’m not being paid enough to do that ), but I have just finished reading “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Donald Miller and I felt compelled to talk about it.
I will not say that I loved it. There are few books that I bestow that honor on, and I read a lot of books. However, I did deeply enjoy it. It greatly appealed to me, mostly because it was a book about stories written in a poetic form by an author. I am a poet, an author, a writer. And Miller’s thoughts and feelings about how the meaning of our lives is in the story that they create was deeply meaningful to me.
Miller spends most of the book talking about his life in his typical rambly, poetic style, meandering from point to point. The overall theme was something like this: Life is one big story, and you have to decide how you will write it. You can either write a really boring one where you get up, go to work, come home, eat Easy mac and watch tv, or you can write a beautiful adventure that is filled with risk but also with beauty.
Sadly, all to often, we (myself included) choose the couch. It is part of who we are. I love playing a computer game called “The Sims”, in which you create characters and then control their lives, raising them from birth to death, etc. Today, out of sheer boredom, I created a man. I placed him in a small, but comfortable home in a big town with plenty of other people. I gave him money, and got him a secure job. I gave him a bike with which he could transport himself anywhere he wanted to go. And then I let the game run. I was hoping that, while I was gone, he would do something exciting – get up, move through the ranks of his job, find a wife, have a baby, who knows. I laid it out for him to choose his own adventure. When I left, he was watching tv on the couch. I came back two hours later and what did I find – he was sitting on the couch, watching tv. He had made no friends. He had not been promoted. He had no wife, no child. His bike sat unused. I was deeply disappointed. I had created this big beautiful world for my character and he hadn’t seen any of it.
Perhaps this is what God feels. He makes this big, beautiful world, filled with risk and adventure and tears and pain and laughter and smiles and LIFE and throws it out there, like an explorer laying out a treasure map and tells us “This, this is all yours. If you’ll only trust me and go out! Go!!” And what do we do? We sit on the couch and watch re-runs of Jeopardy. Because it is safe. Because there is no risk. Because it is comfortable, and we don’t have to get dirty or scared or hurt. Because when we sit on the couch – we don’t need God.
How deeply this must disappoint our Creator. In one fell swoop we reject the beautiful adventure He has designed for us, as well as rejecting the deeply beautiful One who created the adventure. How sad it must be for God to look down at this world – this world of sparkling oceans, purple mountains, roaring lions, giggling babies, vast jungles and open skies – and see his creation sitting on a polyester couch enclosed by drywall barriers staring at plastic boxes.
This is your life. And God loves you enough to give you the choice to sit on the couch, if that is what you so please. But I for one cannot wait to see what great adventure God has laid out for me!
It is as simple as this. His hand is extended. Take it. Trust him. And start to run, and never, ever look back. The world is far too beautiful, this life far too wonderful, our God far too amazing to do otherwise. What story are you living? What story would you like to live? Tell me your stories, or the stories you hope to write. I’d love to hear and to share.
“You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.” Isaiah 55:12
A Prayer “Retweet” Button
First of all, I want to apologize for the way the site looks at the moment. I’m in the process of rearranging and updating it, and I’m photoshopping a custom header for it, but that takes time. So I’m asking you to bear with me as the site remains “under construction”.
Now, onto the main point. I’ll be straightforward here. I’m an internet geek. I love anything to do with technology. I love Facebook. Stumbleupon.com. Twitter. Blogs. I get the biggest thrill when I update my facebook status or tweet from my cell phone. Don’t ask me why, I just do! It’s one of the reasons I’m so interested in online journalism – I love working with the internet. One of my internet favorites is a blog called Stuff Christians Like. Started about a year ago as a Christian adaptation of Stuff White People Like, it has quickly taken off to become an internet phenomena. The blog has emerged to become a tongue-in-cheek look at American Evangelical Christianity, examining such crucial issues as “the side hug“, “awkward opposite sex friendships” and “Chik-fil-A vs In-n-Out Burger“. And I love it. It’s hysterical. And so incredibly true. (If you happen to visit the site today, note that Wednesdays are known as “Serious Wednesdays”, where Jon usually covers a serious topic…) I really encourage everyone to read the blog and subscribe to Jon’s twitter updates, because they’re hysterical. That being said, today’s blog is inspired by Jon’s style of humor.
Haven’t you ever thought to yourself “Man, I really wish there was a “retweet” button for prayers!” No, really, you haven’t? Well, after I explain this you will. (Don’t know what a “retweet” is? Here.) So here’s the scene – you’re in a public setting – a church small group, at dinner with friends, Bible study, whatever. It comes time to pray out loud, and everyone starts voicing their prayers to God. Eyes closed, you start to listen to whomever. “God, please watch over my family, and my dogs, and for my English test next Wednesday…” etc. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, Mr. Super-Theology Man pops out with an incredible prayer “And God, please, I pray for all of the martyrs in Cambodia who are spreading your wonderful Gospel and being persecuted because of it. Help them to have hope and courage for they are truly making disciples out of all nations!” – WHAT?!?! Genius! “Me too! You think! Me too!” There. That is where a “Prayer retweet” button would come in handy. I think this would really come in handy when someone steals one of the prayers you were going to pray. You know what I mean – You’ve been carefully crafting your prayer in your head the whole time as everyone else is praying (What? Really listening and praying while everyone else is praying? Nonsense!), and then, BAM – out of nowhere, Ms. Polly Prays-a-Lot has stolen your prayer. Now what are you doing to do? You don’t want to just drop it, because you really were intending to pray it. But at the same time, you don’t just want to repeat them. Then it seems like you’re an unoriginal copy-cat and you’re running out of meaningful things to pray for so you’re just stalling. Retweet! It says “I’m cool, I was totally going to say that, but since she already said it I’ll just retweet it for those of you who aren’t cool enough to subscribe to her prayers…..” Cause that’s what prayer is all about right? Making yourself look all cool and spiritual and whatnot. Kind of like describing every obsession of yours as a “holy ambition”. “What? Oh, Yeah I tweet about 50 times a day. It’s my holy ambition to start a following from an unreached people group and bring them all to Christ through my brilliant tweets. Yeah, no big.”
I’m serious. This is a great idea. God should look into this.
What about you? Are there any internet things that you wish could be incorporated into your spiritual life? Maybe a holy “back-button”, or the ability to subscribe to Jesus’s twitter account (seriously, how awesome would it be to click that “follow” button on Jesus’ account and have the little box pop up that reads “You are now following @Jesus_Christ.”). What else?
