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“What I need to survive is not fire…I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again.”

I need someone to show me how selfish and horrible I really am, but love me and tell me they think I’m wonderful anyway. Not because I am. But because they love me. And that’s what love does.

It loves, sometimes just to spite the bad.

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“But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” – Hebrews 11:16

Oh, how I’m longing for a better country. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve acutely felt the ache of living in a fallen, broken world. A beautiful, but broken world.

A freshmen student at OU lost his life just days after moving in. A good friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My sweet great-grandma passed away.

At night, I lay awake and stared at the sliver of light creeping under the door and prayed. I prayed for the students I work with, my family, my dear friend. I prayed for hope, for healing, for comfort. But all the while, my deepest ache was crying, “Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, come!”

I know that all my prayers are temporary. No matter what I pray, decay is an inevitable part of living in a world of entropy. Death will come to claim us all, tomorrow or 50 years from now.

And no matter what anyone claims, we were never meant to die. We were never meant to be separated from the ones we love, or the One who loves us. Our eternal souls were made for eternity. To experience anything less is excruciating.

They were longing for a better country.” Come, Lord Jesus, come, and with it bring Your eternal kingdom!

There are a thousand reasons to call God a good God, and praise Him forever, but this is the one that my mind keeps coming to rest on, for whatever reason.

Jesus is good not because he gives me so many good things, but because he could take every single one of those good things away from me in an instant, and simply knowing him would be sufficiently sweet to lighten my heart, strengthen my spirit, content my mind, and satisfy my soul.

Just knowing Jesus is the sweetest thing I have ever experienced.

“And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (John 1:16 ESV)

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Past Musings